Blah · Diddy · Blah · Blah · Blah

So I was sitting at the Faery Fest pub sing with Nick, listening to Nero's Fiddle. They were singing Roll Your Leg Over, which I have explained previously but shall do so again for our new listeners. All the verses esentially go like so:

If all them young laddies/lassies were (non sexual objects)
I'd be the (related object) and (perform an action that relates and sounds dirty)

So, for example:

If all them young laddies were little white flowers
I'd be the bee and I'd suck them for hours

It's a drinking song, so we make up more verses as we go along and there's about ninety gabillion of them. Are we all up to speed? Good.

I had just interjected a verse and had sat down again, when the second oldest McGrotty child tugged on my sleeve, telling me I should sing the verse she was about to give me. Please keep in mind she is about six years old:

If all the boys were sitting on the toilet
EEEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!!!!!!!!

I gently declined, as I had just sung.

LATER! Nero's Fiddle sang "The Cock Song," which is about a missing rooster named Dick. Clearly.

But the second youngest had other ideas. "It's not about a chicken," she informed me. "It's about a... uh..." She paused, thinking very very hard. I was kind of scared she'd be right.

"A rooster?" I suggested hopefully.

"No! It's a... it's a, um..." she covered her eyes with her hands, then flipped them open as though she was playing peek-a-boo. "Cock!"

I think I may have snorted, trying not to laugh. She did it again. "Cock!"

Having a five year old cheerfully chirping "Cock! Cock!" at you is... kind of weird.